As elitist as I come off, I listen to a lot of cheesy bands. I’m talking about bands that would arguably be grounds for revoking one’s “metal card”. From hair metal fluff like BulletBoys and Vinnie Vincent Invasion, to lite mom rock like Air Supply and Richard Marx, there’s no shortage of cheese in my diet. That said, I have to draw the line somewhere. There’s a “cheese threshold” that should never be crossed. The subject of today’s review, Dream Tröll, didn’t just cross the threshold: They completely disregarded it and ran a 100 meter dash.
Everything about this band and album (Realm of the Tormentör) seemed promising. With song titles like “The Tormentor” and “Watch It Burn”, and an album cover depicting some sort of horned beast, I was expecting some ripping Venom inspired blackened speed metal. Then again, with a name like Dream Tröll, I prepared myself for the possibility of yet another Priest or Maiden clone. In what is one of the biggest disappointments of the year thus far, I got neither. Instead I got an uneven hodgepodge of generic mainstream rock that couldn’t decide whether it wanted to be retro or modern.
From the opening 30 seconds of “The Tormentor”, I knew I was in trouble. First off, what is up with those guitars? I don’t know if it was done on purpose, but they sound computer generated à la DragonForce or an old 8 bit video game soundtrack. I figured it was just a special quirk for this song, but no. This goes on for the duration of the entire album. I can see a small handful appreciating such a novelty. For me, it’s just grating. The song itself sounds like a cross between Ghost and Enforcer, minus the unique charm that makes both bands appealing to legions of fans worldwide.
“She’s Got the Devil Inside” has a slight heavy AOR vibe to it, but is ruined by the aforementioned guitars and equally middle of the road vocals. “Winner Takes Nothing” and “Here Comes Chaos” also showcase tinges of 80s AOR/hard rock, but these nuances are hidden underneath a murky layer of compressed modern production and in the case of “Here Comes Chaos”, even occasional Trivium style chug riffing. No thanks. “Watch It Burn” is the one half decent song on the album. It’s a palatable pedal to the metal headbanger characteristic of most “NWOTHM” bands. Not bad, but nothing to write home about either. “As Death Rains from the Sky” closes this shindig out and is, as you may suspect from the title, the obligatory attempt at an epic power metal hymn. Like “Watch It Burn”, it has its moments, but falls drastically short of anything special.
As I mentioned earlier, Dream Tröll will appeal to a certain niche, most likely the same handful of neckbeards who unironically enjoy specialty acts like DragonForce, Gloryhammer, and Sabaton. They’ll just never appeal to me. Now if you excuse me, I’m going to put on my Zimmers Hole CDs and indulge in some trve cheese.
2 out of 10
Label: Independent
Genre: Heavy Metal/Hard Rock
For fans of: Ghost, The Night Flight Orchestra, Enforcer