At the beginning of the song “Freto Feet”, Green Jelly mastermind Bill Manspeaker exclaims, “If you are not drunk, or high on some sort of medical marijuana, this will not be funny in any sort of way! In fact, it’s just gonna be stupid!” Has there ever been a more honest disclaimer? I think not. For the past 40 years, Green Jelly (or Green Jellö before they got sued by Kraft) have prided themselves on being the self proclaimed “worst band in the world”. Despite their insistence that they do indeed suck, they did find infamy in the early 90s as their metalized take on “Three Little Pigs” peaked at #17 on the Billboard Top 40. This fly by night success lead to another hit, “The Bear Song”, which would appear on the Dumb and Dumber soundtrack.
Fast forward roughly a quarter century later and Green Jelly lives, albeit suckier than ever. As if one Green Jelly wasn’t enough, Manspeaker has made it his life’s mission to start an incarnation of Green Jelly in nearly every American market, resulting in hundreds of members today. Most of these members are featured on their latest album, Garbage Band Kids. Following in the footsteps of past Green Jelly releases, Manspeaker’s tongue is planted firmly in cheek as he sings, scratch that, screams about topics ranging from alcohol and social media to SpongeBob SquarePants and himself.
Musically, Green Jelly albums have always been hard to nail down. Garbage Band Kids is no exception. There’s a little bit of punk (“Pukebox”, “Drinking Song”), a little bit of metal (“Silence of the Squarepants”, “Back Alley Dentist”), and a whole lot of parody. Among the bands being parodied on this album are the now cancelled Marilyn Manson (“Punk Rock Pope”), Rage Against the Machine (“Boy Who Cried Wolf”), and the far more popular Green Jelly spinoff band, Tool (“Mægnus Ærena”). These songs aren’t homages, but spoofs. In clowning on these bands, Manspeaker proves just how absurdly pretentious they are, which is something I’ve been saying for years, especially when it comes to Tool.
Unfortunately, a lot of these absurd jokes will go over peoples heads, simply because some of these songs really do suck…and no, I’m not joking. I try my best to avoid 90s rap metal drivel, so upon hearing “Champion” and “Fuxk It”, I couldn’t help but patiently await the following tracks. Also, did there really need to be a re-recording of “Three Little Pigs”? No. I never understood why old bands re-record their classic songs. Well, from a business perspective I do. You see, when a band re-records an old track, they then peddle it to *insert movie, TV show, or corporation here* who will then use it. This results in a royalty check that the band otherwise wouldn’t see if the original recording, most likely owned by Sony or some other publishing giant, was used instead. That said, I don’t see “Three Little Pigs” being used in an upcoming Hollywood blockbuster anytime soon, not even a new Rambo.
Garbage Band Kids is pretty hit or miss, but I’m also reviewing this sober. I’m sure with a six pack and joint in my system, I’d rate it much higher. Ha ha, get it? I said higher! *sigh* I sure crack myself up. Ha! I said crack too! I better stop before this closing paragraph becomes the topic of the next Green Jelly song.
5 out of 10
Label: Cleopatra Records
Genre: Heavy Metal/Punk
For fans of: GWAR, Mentors, Psychostick