“Really Joe? You’re reviewing the new Metallica album? I thought you were better than that.” Yeah, so did I, yet here we are. In the spirit of fairness, no matter how often this band disappoints me (and they sure have), I’m always willing to give whatever new music they so sporadically throw our way a chance. Such is the case with their latest album, 72 Seasons. Back in 2016, when Metallica released their last album, Hardwired…to Self-Destruct and this webzine was nothing more than a far-fetched fantasy, high school aged me was pleasantly surprised that the album didn’t completely suck. Trust me, I was ready to hate it, being an immature 17 year old and all. And yet here was, from a songwriting and musical perspective, their strongest outing since The Black Album.
What unfortunately held Hardwired back from reaching that upper echelon was its overall unevenness. For every vitriolic outburst of retro thrash rage (i.e. “Hardwired”, “Spit Out the Bone”, etc.), there was a forgettable, middle of the road slab of radio-safe modern metal that has been par the course for this band since ’91. It’s not even the blatant commercialism of these Black Album rehashes that annoyed me, as much as it was the collective laziness. Say what you will about “Sad But True”, “Enter Sandman”, “Wherever I May Room”; at least those songs had hooks. I can’t say the same for many of the cuts off Hardwired, or this most recent album for that matter, 72 Seasons.
This isn’t to say 72 Seasons is all bad. In fact, many moments range from pleasantly enjoyable to “Damn, these guys still got it!” The back half of this album in particular is, dare I say, a force to be reckoned with. “Chasing Light” captures the thrashing traditional metal of Master of Puppets, “If Darkness Had a Son” embodies the best qualities of Metallica circa ’86-’91, “Too Far Gone?” is a blatant old school thrasher, and “Room of Mirrors” is filled with violent riffs and equally violent d-beats. Put them all together and you’ve got the first four consecutive Metallica songs I enjoy on an album since who knows when. Other highlights include the blatantly Diamond Head inspired “Lux Æterna”, and the frantic “Screaming Suicide”, which lies somewhere between Budgie, Tank, and Angel Witch.
If you took these 6 songs, you’d have one hell of an EP on your hands; one that, while not of the same caliber as Metallica’s 80s heyday, would evoke memories of such. Instead, these strong moments are bogged down by, well, I’m sure I don’t even have to tell you. There’s songs like the title track and “Shadows Follow” that, despite lying on the thrashy side of the equation, feel forced and generic. The one-dimensional “Sleepwalk My Life Away”, repetitive “Crown of Barbed Wire”, and obligatory knuckle-dragger “You Must Burn!” (AKA “Sad But True” part 20) reek of copy-paste lethargy (“It worked in ’91, it’ll work now.) And of course they had to close out with an 11 minute, overblown, pseudo-prog “suite” that recalls the worst traits of …And Justice for All and goes virtually nowhere (“Inamorta”).
Had 72 Seasons been half its running length and consisted of the aforementioned songs in the third paragraph, it would’ve earned an easy 7. Had it been perhaps 50ish minutes with only a couple duds, it would’ve been around a 6. However, here we are with yet another straight down the middle Metallica release that sees yours truly lamenting what coulda, woulda, shoulda been. It’s better than Load, and ReLoad, and St. Anger, and Death Magnetic, and that wretched abomination with Lou Reed that shall remain unnamed, but is that saying much? Not really. *sigh* At least we didn’t get another “Unforgiven” on this album!
5 out of 10
Label: Blackened Recordings
Genre: Heavy/Thrash Metal
For fans of: Megadeth, Testament, Diamond Head
Hmm,all these funny self annoyed pseudo reviewers. I wonder when was the last time that this guy put out a record? Lol
And yet for a “pseudo-reviewer”, you took the time to read it, cry about it in the comments, and give us more traffic. Thanks! 🤘🏻
A person doesn’t have to be a musician to be entitled to an opinion. “Where are the albums you recorded?” is really only warranted when a writer/critic gets personal rather than keeping it professional. Otherwise it’s the weakest and lamest reply to a review you dont like.
Bruh, if you honestly could listen to that giant pile of unnecessary-disc-two-dogshit and honestly walk away thinking it was a good album, then you’re a bigger poser than Bret fucking Michaels.
He was in high school in 2016. Enough said.
Ah yes, cuz not being alive when Metallica was GOOD disqualifies me from having any opinion otherwise…right?
If it makes you feel better snowflake, the new Megadeth sucked too, as did the new Exodus. Be sure to check out our pseudo-reviews on those as well.
Geez, I’m reading this toxicity as I type, and I think I’ve come to the conclusion that part of being a Metallica/Slayer/Tool/Mötley Crüe fanboy/girl is that you are devoid of any and all intelligence, and your opinions are by-default stripped of any validity. They got my hopes up on this one, because those singles kicked ass, then they absolutely blew it.
You have truly great tastes, why losing time with crap like this? Even the artwork lets you know it’s gonna be awful.
Well, I could say I’m a sucker for punishment, but the truth is, I’m a completist. I tend to give every band a fair shot within the metal and hard rock realm, and when it involves a band as massive as Metallica, that includes the good, the bad, AND the ugly.
Maw dude, you just suck.
Not as much as this album!
Good, honest review. I would give it a 4/10. The new Megadeth was an uneven mess as well. The good, were really good and the bad were just total shit. I would give that disc a 6/10…pretty much says how shitty the Metallica really is.
One of the main reasons people hate Metallica is because of the change in their musical style. After the release of their self-titled album, they began to move away from their thrash metal roots and incorporated more elements of heavy metal and hard rock. This change in sound was not well received by all of their fans, and many felt that they were selling out.
Furthermore, they have continued to suck AND swallow by jacking up the prices of their tickets and merchandise. It seems the more their music rolls downhill into a pit of “alternative” dogshit, the more they think they’re worth. Plain and simple, a band that is more hardcore about their image and record sales than their depleting fanbase is … Metallica.
Yep, the “Sad But True” reality is that come the 90s, it became style over substance for Metallica. The same can be said for every 80s thrash band around this time, but especially Metallica. And every time in the past 15 years they’ve tried to go back to their roots, they’ve creatively fallen short, time and time again. Good songs here and there, yes, but never a full album of all killer, no filler metal like the old days.
I think it’s a good album. My favorite on it after many listens is “Shadows Follow”.
Spot on review. Sad but true. And it has nothing to do with changing style….nothing wrong with that. But Metallica had changed to a way more inferior band.