Here’s some food for thought: What makes glam metal “glam metal”? Is it the simple act of teasing your hair, painting your face, and putting on the most skintight spandex possible? If that’s the case, Tokyo Blade would be a “glam metal” band, and nobody in their right mind would agree with that assessment. Despite the implications of the genre’s name, there’s more to glam metal than the visual aspect. There’s a distinct musical formula, centered around larger than life hooks and a carefree atmosphere. There are, of course, more nuances to it, but it’s core, this was the groundwork laid down by bands like Sweet and Slade in the early 70s, and expanded upon by wave of American acts a decade later.
So imagine if I told you the best glam metal band on the scene today didn’t hail from England or America, but rather Norway? You know, the land of trve black metal, or at least what the metal media tends to pigeonhole as the genre’s optimum mutation. Anyways, today’s review isn’t about corpsepaint, shrieking vocals, or summoning demons. It’s about sleaze, hedonism, and *gasp* fun! You ready that correctly! What? Were you not planning on smiling or uncrossing your arms today? Well too bad dork! Today we’re talking all about The Cruel Intentions.
This band of bad boys have just released their sophomore album, Venomous Anonymous, and a slump this is not. Venomous Anonymous is 11 songs that are short and anything but sweet, touching upon the rawest elements of punk, metal, and pop, and executing them with a glam, bam thank you ma’am kick to the ass. Take for example the opening (and cleverly titled) track “Reapercussion”. It’s sleazy and boisterous, yet without sacrificing melody, with a massive, old school arena rock production. The rowdy atmosphere continues on cuts like the title track, “Casket Case”, and “Goddamn Monday”.
With their gargantuan gang vocals and emphasis on addictive hooks, one can draw comparisons to 80s veterans Pretty Boy Floyd and modern day torchbearers Crashdïet. The Cruel Intentions certainly follow in this lineage by not just aping the template step by step, but by crafting their own anthems of the same creative caliber. Whether they’re channeling their melodic side on AOR ballads like “Bad Vibes” and “Salt i Ditt Sår”, or flexing their metallic muscle on “Final Deathroll” and “Chemical Vacation”, The Cruel Intentions boast a fearless confidence that most bands would sell their souls to have. It also helps that the songs are damn spectacular.
It blows my mind that fans of this music continue to spend mortgage payments to see Mötley Crüe and Guns N’ Roses from a mile away in a corporate named mega-stadium, while bands like The Cruel Intentions are keeping the fire burning brighter than any band from glam metal’s glory days ever currently could, save for maybe L.A. Guns. If any music industry bigwigs are reading this, give them your money and get these guys to America NOW! Only then will Gene Simmons stop claiming “rock is dead”.
9 out of 10
Label: Indie Recordings
Genre: Glam Metal
For fans of: Pretty Boy Floyd, Crashdïet, Hanoi Rocks