The Ozzman cometh with his first album in a decade, Ordinary Man. A lot has changed in the 10 years that passed since Scream. Black Sabbath reunited (again), dropped their first album with Ozzy in decades with 13, and said farewell (again). Not long after that farewell, Ozzy embarked on his own farewell tour (again) with the appropriately titled No More Tours 2. Unfortunately, that tour came to a screeching halt when Ozzy became plagued with health issues: staph infection, pneumonia, a nearly fatal fall down the stairs, and most recently, Parkinson’s.
All of this leads up to where we are now. Ordinary Man is everything I’ve expected in an Ozzy album since No More Tears. There’s some good songs, lots of OK songs, and some terrible songs. What separates Ordinary Man from the rest of Ozzy’s catalog is it feels like less of an album and more of a product. I imagine a group of record industry folks sitting in a boardroom discussing, “Alright, how do we make a metal album? How do we make it edgy and cool?”. The sad reality is these suit and tie guys wouldn’t know metal if Rob Halford unleashed one of his deafening shrieks into their unsuspecting eardrums and it shows.
Despite my overall complaint of Ordinary Man being thrown together, there are songs and moments I enjoy. Sabbathian riffage is scattered throughout the entire album. Look no further than the second halves of singles “Straight to Hell” and “Under the Graveyard”, as well as “Goodbye”. Ironically, I think “Goodbye” is a better song than most of what made up Sabbath’s final album, 13. Producer Andrew Watt handles guitar duties on Ordinary Man and delivers a commendable performance. I’ll gladly take him over what Zakk Wylde has become in the last 25 years and that’s one annoying pinch harmonic after the next.
There’s a string of songs I like near the end, starting with “Today Is the End” (no pun intended). One of three ballads on Ordinary Man, this is easily the best. It reminds me of one of the better moments off Ozzmosis. Following this is Ozzy’s ode to extraterrestrial life, “Scary Little Green Men”. A lot of people will write this song off, but the chorus is very catchy. Matter of fact, it’s the one song on here that has potential to become an Ozzy staple.
The last song I surprisingly enjoy is the mellow “Holy for Tonight”. Ozzy has done ballads his entire career, but this is unlike anything he’s ever done. It’s pure Rod Stewart/lounge singer/easy listening radio territory. I’m the first to call out an act for wimping out, but after having your own touring nu metal festival and an equally cringe worthy MTV show, what does Ozzy have to lose? “Holy for Tonight” is pure cheese, but hey. There’s nothing wrong with a little cheese unless you’re lactose intolerant.
My two biggest issues with Ordinary Man is its generic, compressed production and some atrocious lyrics. There’s been a “loudness war” in mainstream pop and rock music for the last 15+ years. How far can Ordinary Man take it? By the end of the album, you’d be convinced as far as it can possibly go. There were moments I grimaced as Watt’s guitar started sounding like a buzzsaw. This is alright if I’m listening to an Entombed album. On Ordinary Man, these odd sounds exist for all the wrong reasons. No matter how good the album’s best moments are, they’re tainted by sound quality that’s on par with Avenged Sevenfold or Metallica’s Death Magnetic.
Now on to the lyrics. I’m no poet, but if we’re grading this album off lyrical content alone, let’s just say Bob Daisley is sorely missed. On “Straight to Hell”, Ozzy sings, “I’ll make you scream. I’ll make you defecate.” Gross. The title track is supposed to be Ozzy’s nostalgic reflection on life and what the inevitable future holds. It’s supposed to be a touching ballad. Musically, I don’t think it’s nearly as bad as critics are saying it is. However, we’re given simple lyrics such as “I made mama cry. Don’t know why I’m still alive. Yes the truth is I don’t wanna die an ordinary man.” No need to worry about that you bloody maniac! Whether you’re tripping acid for 2 years straight, snorting fire ants, or urinating on national monuments, you’ll be remembered as anything but ordinary, Ozz. Next up is what should be the worst song on the album, “Eat Me”. “I’m on the menu…I even come with dessert…My meat is nice and tender…” Are you kidding me? If you’re shuddering reading those lyrics, you’re not the only one. You’re also probably wondering: What on earth could be worse than that?
Enter “It’s a Raid”. I’ve been a diehard Ozzy fan my entire life. I’ve listened to every single album, Sabbath and solo. I can say, without a shadow of doubt, in 50 years in the music business, this is the worst song Ozzy has ever put out. Your staunch rock critic will argue the song sucks because of a guest appearance from his new buddy, Post Malone. I disagree. Post wouldn’t have to appear on here at all and it’d still be one of the worst songs ever recorded. The production is so compressed that the instruments sound like the audio equivalent of mud. Ozzy’s voice is so auto tuned, it’d make Travis Scott go “Damn!”.
Speaking of Mr. Astroworld, he makes an appearance on this album as well since the label decided to throw on “Take What You Want”. For those who’ve been sleeping under a rock, this is the Post Malone song Ozzy guested on which kickstarted the entire Ordinary Man project. I don’t care for it, but I’m glad it was included. Why? As the first 20 seconds kicked in, I asked myself, “Haven’t heard this song before?”. It turns out I did a half hour earlier. Minus the Sabbath ending, “Under the Graveyard” is practically a remix of “Take What You Want”.
Ordinary Man is Ozzy’s best album since Ozzmosis, but that’s not saying much. I’m just glad I’m not some delusional old schooler who expected Blizzard or Diary caliber material. Ozzy hasn’t made a traditional metal album since No More Tears. Why would he all of a sudden make one now, 30 years later? “Don’t ask me. I don’t know.”
5 out of 10
Label: Sony Music
Genre: Heavy Metal
For fans of: Black Sabbath, modern Metallica, Avenged Sevenfold