Temple Balls – Avalanche

I’m not sure what’s in the water over in Scandinavia, but there has to be something responsible for spawning such an amazing crop of kickass melodic hard and heavy acts. Whether it be Eclipse or H.E.A.T, Crazy Lixx or Art Nation, we’ve covered the lion’s share of these bands, many of which dominate our year end lists (Be on the look out for the 2023 list next month!). One band that we haven’t covered yet (shame on us) is Temple Balls. Hailing from Finland, this cheekily named band has been refining their craft for nearly 15 years, culminating in their latest high octane affair, Avalanche.

Straddled somewhere between the fist-clenched rowdiness of hard rock, hairspray-headed hedonism of glam metal, and blistering fury of ’80s euro metal, Avalanche is a retro rollercoaster and Temple Balls are our ride operators. Only unlike most amusement park rides, this one goes forwards, backwards, and even off the track at maximum velocity. In this regard, one can’t help but recall the glory days of ’80s hard rock and metal, hearing the shadows of yesterday’s giants in the melodies and grooves of Temple Balls. This is a band unafraid to wear their influences on their sleeve, yet without blatantly rehashing past tropes.

What’s perhaps most distinct about Avalanche (and Temple Balls for that matter) is the sheer amount of energy on display. With the exception of one power ballad in “Stone Cold Bones”, this is a no frills hard and heavy outing. From the opening larger than life explosion that is “All Night Long”, Temple Balls keeps us hanging on the edge of our seats, treating us to a feast of gang vocal choruses, massive drums, and wicked lead guitar passages. Further cuts like “Trap”, “Strike Like a Cobra”, and “No Reason”, channel the arena metal spirit of Bon Jovi and Hysteria era Def Leppard.

Those who prefer their metal on the heavier side will be pleased by Avalanche as well. For every radio-friendly rocker on here, there’s blasts of raging ’80s traditionalism in the vein of Priest and early Europe. Songs like “Lonely Stranger” and “Prisoner in Time” fuse this euro metal ethos with tinges of AOR, making for a sound that’s distinctly old school. “Northern Lion” further tips the scale in the metal direction, as does the closing title cut, which is no doubt the heaviest song on the album. Chock full of rampaging riffage and Accept-esque maneuvers, Temple Balls close this album with a bang.

If you long for the days when Riki Rachtman’s face graced MTV instead of Rob Dyrdek, and Vince Neil weighed less than 300 pounds, Avalanche is the album you need in your life. Temple Balls are bound to bounce their way into your heavy metal heart, becoming a favorite of this year and beyond. Now if only US rock radio programmers weren’t complete cowards and could put a couple of these tunes into rotation alongside *insert trendy mallcore band here* and *shudders* Nickelback. It would take real *ahem* Balls to do so.

7 out of 10

Label: Frontiers Records

Genre: Melodic Heavy Metal

For fans of: Crazy Lixx, H.E.A.T, Europe